Konica Bizhub and Fiery RIP: Marriage forged in Hell

by admin on November 7, 2007

If you have ever been a system administrator for any period of time, in any company of reasonable size, you will have run across a digital printer that proves itself to be a lemon time after time. You know, the one that keeps jamming. Or the one that requires a service call every two weeks. Or perhaps one that drops the network connection every second Monday.

And then you encounter the Konica bizhub C350 - Fiery X3e 22C-KM PS v2.0 duo, which combines all of the above to make a perfectly devilish combination. Then you begin to fully understand what "poor engineering" really means, in the same way an Edsel owner  or a New Orleans resident understands the concept.

In the shop, every in once awhile, a job comes in that simply doesn't have enough impressions to warrant making plates so the decision is made to output a few hundred copies on the bizhub. Sometimes the treacherous beast actually prints out a few copies for you before jamming. More likely, we can't find the thing on the network so we can print to it. Or we find the thing and it won't mysteriously print for a half-hour or so, and then it spews out 40 copies on your lunch, but to the wrong tray.

It is truly humbling to encounter such awfulness. The first time it dropped the IP address, it took me TWO DAYS and two service calls to figure out how to access the control settings to set a static IP address. I've created web sites in shorter periods of time.

The bizhub has a Fiery as it's print controller.Does it suck? Do polar bears eat seals for breakfast? Are Canadians part of the evil plot behind global warming because our country is too cold as it is (whoops, don't read the last part, it's supposed to be a secret).

What is the best thing about the Konica Bizhub C350? The noise it makes when it jams yet again.It's like you've stabbed a cougar with a glass dagger. And when you hear that squeal over and over again, you can almost imagine living at the third level of Dante's Inferno, you give thanks that you are not really stuck in hell, you can go home at the end of the day.

The best part of this story is that the bizhub is a lease. But we don't pay a monthly rate, we just get charged for toner. But we haven't changed toner in the last six months because it's so rarely used. Hmmmm, it's like the distributor doesn't want to take it back.


Koloriten November 8, 2007 at 11:23 am

I like your blog alot. It is very interesting to read since I am a prepress operator. So keep it up.

admin November 8, 2007 at 6:23 pm

Thank you for the kind words. I haven’t found many blogs about prepress, let alone Prinergy, so sometimes I think I am the only one writing about these topics. I hope I continue to write well enough so that you will keep coming back.

Comments on this entry are closed.