According to business week, inkjet sales dropped at HP by 5%.

Which is fine by me, as I am an inkjet bigot. Why? Let me count the ways, presenting 8 reasons why I hate inkjet.

1. Product teams are run by MBA types who only come within 100 feet of a printing business by accident (and no Kinkos  doesn’t  count)

2. Used ink catridges are small enough to choke seagulls.

3. Ink more expensive than platinium.

4. All printer drivers written for inkjets are coded by retarded teenagers from the republic of Wazerbijan.

5. Patent protection guarantees billions in profit to huge conglomartes like Hewlett Packard and Epson. Color me excited.

6. You want addition to the color gamut?  Please buy our Light Cyan, Light Magenta combo for only an extra $150.

7. Selling pitch of inkjet press manufacturer: Replace your pressmen who want decent wages because they have families to support with 20 year old retard teenagers from the republic of Wazerbijan (no offense to Wazerbijan immigrants who are known to be hardworking and courteous).

8. Ink only slightly less toxic than Agent Orange.

I woulda written ten reasons, but it’s past midnight and I promised wifey I wouldn’t stay up late. Another broken promise.