Hopefully, not the last.

Her name is Iwona. She just finished a year of graphic arts school. I asked her before she started how much time they spent on WordPress.

In a year of classes, they spend a total of one week on WordPress.

Uh oh, I said, you're gonna a LOT of time in WordPress when you come work for me.

So I gave her an easy project to start out on, a little site called  Rockband for Wii. I had picked up the url years ago intending to build a game review site but other things caught my eye.

I had her do a wordpress installation, load up the standard plug-ins, design the logo and all that good stuff. She's a very good logo designer by the way and learns pretty quick.

All of which is important in this line of work.

Telus (the local phone provider in British Columbia) has a delicious bundle offering: For about $80, you get local phone service with 4 cents a minute North American calling, high speed internet and internet TV. Plus, PLUS... they throw in a Xbox360 if you sign a two year contract.
Well, I already paid more than $80 a month for phone and internet anyways, so this such a no brainer. So I go to sign up an get what happens.
The web... site... won't... process the order.
I get on the chat with a Telus customer rep and she says because I'm an existing customer I can only sign up for Optik TV. I get redirected to the Optik page where I'm up to $60 a month before the internet and phone are added in.
I tell the rep this is too confusing, I'll call in and try to get this sorted out. So I get the number 604-310-2255. I give them a call, and the phone rings and rings and rings.
Is it just me, or every time I want to order something from a data provider, and if you're a current customer you have to:
1. Switch over to the competitor.
2. Then switch back to get the skookum deal.

Whatever. I'll give this mission a rest and try to phone in tomorrow. If I can't get the $80 a month, I'll have to switch over to Shaw or Rogers.

Hey, don't worry about that kids' files. He went to design school.

Well, if you don't know it yet, the 2010 Winter Olympics start in Vancouver tomorrow, or today by the time you are reading this. And not only does the family of Prepress Pilgrim live in Vancouver, we live right in the middle of Vancouver, like Main and King Edward, which if you Google-map, you will see we are pretty well dead-center in the middle of metro Van.

So I yanked the kids out of school this afternoon so they could watch the Olympic torch relay. At first they were so excited they could hardly contain themselves, but then they realized that watching the torch relay meant leaving the house and not playing games on the Wii. So a bribe was in order....

Umbrellas! Yes, here on the west coast, we bribe our kids with bright shiny new umbrellas. Then we take their pictures with a crappy $99 camera from Wal-Mart.

Anyhow, we make our way to Cambie Street near 19th Avenue, where the torch runner is to arrive at approximately three o'clock. We are to rendezvous with an elite battalion of youth ninjas, of which my oldest son aged 8, is a member. Of course they are disguised as:

Wolf cubs ie junior members of the boy scout organization. You see, they have to be disguised otherwise they would freak out the neighbourhood. But really, they are ninjas. Honest.

In the above picture, there is a ninja in full camouflage garb. See if you can spot her.
Anyway, we stake out a spot on the sidewalk and patiently wait. Well, the boys wait patiently but my daughter, who is training to be a supermodel, decides to put on her best impersonation of Naomi Campbell and throws a hissy fit. (No pictures taken).
Okay, so finally they close the road and my middle son can no longer play chicken with incoming SUVs. But it is the torch? No...what is it? Oh my goodness, it's... it's...

The Olympic torch relay procession sponsors!!!

Let me tell you, nothing symbolizes the games more to me than the sponsor wagon, complete with free swag. Except that I was holding on to a wailing 3 year old girl (not in picture), so I couldn't run forward and grab one of those groovy free Canada flags.

By the way, the first sponsor wagon was Coca-cola. Grab a coke and a smile. I'd like to teach the world to sing. Drink New Coke. Nobody paid me to write the last paragraph.

Now the second sponsor wagon was RBC, or Royal Bank of Canada.

Now I wouldn't say that RBC is smug or anything like that, but their new company motto is: "Yes, we are solvent because we didn't let crackheads or people on welfare take out mortgages like some *cough* American *cough* banks."
Anyhow, after the sponsors trucks moved on, they opened up the road to traffic and my middle son could start playing chicken with cars in the passenger lane again.
Finally, another procession, this time it's the real deal:

I get pumped, I tell my kids that this is once-in-a-lifetime-event. Not to be missed. And the wifey then tells me that Rachel needs to go pee. Now. Fortunately, there is a Starbucks on the other side of the street, and it's easy to jaywalk when the only cars on the road are police vehicles. Alright, we hustle over to the green mermaid, do our business, and hustle back just in time to get the snaps:

And here's a closeup:

Now we'll have two weeks of road closures and an inability to order sushi from our favorite restaurant because of the out-of-town curlers scaffing all the raw tuna (the curling rink is about 4 blocks from our house).
Wouldn't miss it for the world.

More posts to come.

By the way, the niece and nephew are visiting and they brought the cat. It's a very quiet, child-friendly cat, except that at about 3 a.m. it gets the urge to wage a battle to the death with the living room carpet. I guess what I am trying to say is that I didn't get much sleep last night.

And oh, last evening the virtual private server of my client's main money site went down for a couple of hours. Awesome, I love going to bed with a thudding headache. And right now some supplier wants 2k up front for a SAAS  (software as a service) package. Um, no  you'll supposed to soak me after I get hooked on your service, not before.

Oh hey, were was I vis-a-vis this blog post, after explaining why my brain is numb. Oh yeah, spray-on-liquid-glass. No, it looks really cool. Probably the most interesting thing you'll read today.

I would go home and sleep, but the cat and kids are there. Maybe somewhere in this coffee shop, is a dark corner where I can lay up and have a nap.

I last wrote about digital picture frames here. Slowly but surely they are gaining market share, but of course one barrier is usability.  Like my Mom loves getting pictures of the gran- kids but is not one to set up an electronic picture frame so that its ready for action.  The market needs a digital picture frame where you can just email it pictures. Why hello Kodak Pulse 7-Inch Digital Frame.

This is a great gift for geeks to give to their Moms because you open up the packaging, configure it, re-package it and send it off. Then when you have a new picture of the kiddies, you can email it to her. Awesome.
Mind you, you just don't have to buy it for your Mom. Let's say you have a girlfriend, you could buy it for her and email pictures of you so she is always reminded of the one she loves. Then, if she breaks up with you, you can email pictures of you drinking with the boys and whooping it up and having a good time, just to show that you are over her.
Wait, did I just write that?
Anyhow, Popular Mechanics liked the Kodak Pulse too, it was one of their picks at the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas.

So seriously, how do they know that's the name of my frickin' blog? It's obviously some sort of localization algo, as they are showing queries that are relevant to Canadians in prepress, but how did they know to show my blog as #1.  It's not like I feature a lot of Canadian content either.

The server that host this blog is based in Vancouver. But even so, so what?

Creepy.

Hey everybody! Are you going to a Christmas party and need to find some way to pass the time and amuse the kiddies? Act out the skit listed below. Tried and tested to be politically correct. Just in time for the holiday season!

Cast of characters:

1. Frosty
2. Penguin1
3. Penguin2
4. Paulie the Polar Bear
5. Supertanker Captain
6. Susie the baby seal
7. Cabana boy1
8. Cabana boy2

Setting: The North Pole. Two penguins are holding up signs that say "Down with Frosty" and "Frosty-Resign!" They are chanting "De-Elect Frosty, Impeach Frosty!"

Frosty the Snowman enters on stage, singing "Frosty the Snowman"

Frosty: What do we have here, upset penguins? What's wrong?

Penguin1: Boo Frosty!

Penguin2: Bad Frosty!

Frosty: I don't understand, why is everybody yelling at me?

Penguin1: Come on Frosty, everybody knows you left the "Arctic Renewal Party" and switched to the "Hydrocarbons for a Better Tomorrow Party."

Penguin2: Yeah, don't you understand that Carbon party is going to destroy the North Pole?

Frosty: Balderdash. I switched parties to better serve the voters. I did it for you guys! Now that I can work in the Hydrocarbon paryt, I can help make the Arctic a better place to live.

Penguin1: But Frosty, there are nothing but a bunch of capitalistic polluters. They seek to ravage the environment.

Frosty has a bored look on his face.

Penguin2: Frosty, a piece of your butt just fell off!

Frosty: Eh, oh never mind, it's just a flesh wound. Hey look, it's Paulie the polar bear. Hi Paulie.

Paulie makes his entrance wearing a Hawaiian Aloha shirt.

Paulie: Hey, hey everybody, how is it shaking.

Penguin1: Whoa, hey, colorful shirt, I've never seen you wear that before.

Paulie: Do you like it? I just had the urge to wear a shirt like this... don't know why.

Penguin2: Aren't you supposed to be hibernating right now?

Paulie: Yeah, yeah, but I woke up early this week, just had crazy urge to get to the wet bar and have a drink.
Penguin1: What's that in your hand?

Paulie: A little something the bartender whipped up for me. It's called a Pina Colada. Mmmmm, tasty."

Another piece of Frosty falls off

Frosty: Ow!

Penguin2: What's wrong Frosty?

Frosty: Nothing... nothing. Atkins diet. Never felt better.

Penguin1: Anyway, Frosty, you've got to stop the industrialization of the Arctic. If you don't the wonderful beauty of the North will be forever despoiled.

Penguin2: Why yes, look at the beautiful Northern Lights.

Paulie: Those aren't Northern Lights. That's a gas flare from a oil rig!

Frosty: Sweet, they started drilling early!

Penguin1 turns around 180 degrees:

Penguin1: And what is THAT?

Supertanker captain: Toot, toot, supertanker coming through. Which way is the oil?

Penguin2: Oh my goodness, isn't it extremely dangerous for a large ship like this to navigate so close to shore?

Supertanker captain: Oh no, no, no, not really. Well, not for us... Now that you mention, does this belong to anyone?

Holds up a baby seal totally covered in crude oil.

Penguin1: Oh no, it's little Susie the seal! She's covered in goo! What happened?

Takes the seal.

Supertanker captain: Oh first run out of here, we had a tiny accident. Thought all the icebergs had melted. Well they had. Except for one. Really ruined the martini party we were having that night.

Paulie: Hey, how do you mix a martini?

Penguin2: Oh no, you had an oil spill?

Supertanker captain: Ooops, hey on the advice of my legal counsel, I can say no more. By the way, who owns the five miles of coastline back there?

Penguin1: The Arctic preserve heritage park has been devasted!!

Supertanker captain: It's parkland? Phew, that's a relief. Parklands don't have lawyers. Hey, are you Frosty? I've a got a royalty cheque for you somewhere..

Everybody turns to glare at Frosty, who has sunk to his knees by now, looking very sick.

Frosty: On behalf of the citizens of the Arctic, I accept this generous cheque from Exxon... phew, is it me or is getting a bit warm in here?

Penguin1: That's global warming, you twit, we're all doomed. We might as well sit down and have a few drinks and get used to it.

Everybody goes to sit at the bar except for Frosty, who is now on his hands and knees.

Penguin2: You know, these drinks are a bit warm.

Paulie: Oh, that can be fixed. Cabana boys! Come here!

Cabana boys arrive at the bar.

Penguin1: Can you get us some ice please?

Cabana boys run over to Frosty and grab bits of snow from him.

Frosty: No, no! What are you doing? Help.. help

The Pina Colada song starts to play.

Yeah. All...week... long. I've been trying to import a printer supply catalogue into the blog. The test run worked. The import command worked fine on another blog. But it doesn't behave when I run it full-bore on the blog and stay off the front page.

Gees, and it's december now with a busy weekend of social engagements. Whatever.

$61.99

 
Black fabric with sensor hole. Approximately 50,000,000 character yield.
 

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